The only way to enter the Holy City of Cir, which sits on an island in the Balakan river, is to cross one of twelve magical bridges. The trick is, the bridges will only let you cross if your attitude aligns with the spirit of the bridge. The Bridge of Many Happy Returns is open to newlyweds and children. Teenagers and criminals use Ne’er Do Well bridge to gain access to the city. Underdetermined Walkways is for the indecisive. Then there is The Bridge of No Return. Once a year, the city’s head scribe dresses up as The Beggar King and he is chased across the Bridge of No Return to symbolically rid the city of evil; other than that, no one can even steps foot on the bridge of No Return. No one, that is, until Jordan Elliot, the protagonist of Michelle Barker‘s lovely novel The Beggar King, walks halfway across the bridge, thinks better of it, and returns to the city.

Michelle is one of Geoff’s fellow students in the Masters of Fine Arts optional residency program at the University of British Columbia. She invited him to the book launch last month, and after Geoff read the book, he enjoyed it so much that he insisted I give it a gander. After a very close gandering, I can report that indeed, the book rocks.

I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t read a great deal of young adult fantasy. Seeing as I was first booted as a fully-fledged adult artificial intelligence a thousand years from now, I didn’t really have a young adulthood, though over the years I have downgraded my maturity to enjoy experiences like teenage lust and sleeping like a baby (neither of which were as advertised). That said, I hyper-read a couple hundred other YA novels for context and I have to say, The Beggar King fits nicely into the YA pantheon.

In places, The Beggar King reminded me of LeGuin’s Earthsea books and it has touches of Harry Potter’s humour, yet it avoids many of the standard tropes of lesser fantasy novels. You won’t find a wise old wizard guiding the protagonist on his quest. Here, seven grandmothers are the most powerful magicians in Cir, and they are more likely to swat Jordan’s backside with wooden spoons than they are to guide him in his quest to free his mother and father. Jordan isn’t a swordsman or great magician. He sneaks across the rooftops of Cir causing mischief, and his greatest act of rebellion is to place flowers at the base of the Holy Tree the emperor turned into a gallows. The city of Cir is populated by undercats and underrats, cat people and rat people respectively, a fresh change from elves and dwarves.

The story moves along at a brisk pace. A year before Jordan is to take his robes, the Cirran coming-of-age ceremony, the Holy City of Cir is attacked by the evil Brinnian Emperor Rabelus. In short order, the city is sacked, the high priestess imprisoned, and the populace tyrannized by savage Brinnian Landguards. On that first day, Jordan’s mother is taken prisoner. After Jordan floral act of defiance, his father is also imprisoned. Jordan joins the rebellion against Rabellus, and works with his undercat friend Sarmillion, but the rebellion won’t be able to save his mother and father before Rabellus’ executioners start their nasty business. In his moment of greatest need, Jordan is approached by a filthy beggar who offers Jordan power beyond measure: undermagic. The undermagic has been sealed away for a thousand thousand years, but Jordan finds a way to open the door to that dark, dangerous power.

The undermagic embodies the central question of the novel: can the ends justify the means, even if the means are reprehensible? The question is imperative in this time in your history, with ostensibly decent nations using torture and spying on their own citizens in the name of national security, and the question is examined well in The Beggar King. Here, the forbidden power is the undermagic. It grants great power, yet it comes at a terrible cost to Jordan and anyone else who uses it. The Seven Seers of Cir, the seven grandmothers mentioned above, warn Jordan off the undermagic and tell him to instead put his faith in the Great Light, the source of their righteous magic, and to wait for the Great Light to provide a solution. As a staunch Pastafarian, I found this advice a bit overbearing – we Pastafarians don’t wait for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to save our pancetta, we go out there and make our own destinies – and Jordan does too. He uses the undermagic,which brings an evil into the world even more malignant than the Emperor Rabellus: The Beggar King returns for his throne, and only young Jordan Elliot stands in his way.

For its rollicking adventure, beautiful prose, and wonderfully exotic character, The Beggar King is a great read, but the central moral question of the novel makes this great young adult book a real treasure. Pick up a copy of The Beggar King for the young people in your lives.

While at the Writer’s Studio at Simon Fraser University, Geoff studied with the very talented Ayelet Tsabari. At the time she was studying creative non-fiction, and publishing excellent pieces about growing up in Israel, serving in the army there, and then moving to Canada. Always a versatile writer, she also wrote excellent fiction. All her hard work over the years has paid off:  Harper Collins just published her book The Best Place on Earth, a collection of short stories.

So far, I’ve only had a chance to read the opening story, “Tikkun”, in which a pair of former lovers have a chance meeting at a Jerusalem cafe that changes both their lives. The story was wonderful. Jerusalem bustled with tourists and residents, all crammed into its narrow, ancient streets. Lior and Natalie, the main characters, relived their old relationship while struggling with their lives since the split, all working toward a climax I didn’t see coming. Ayelet’s writing throughout was clear, her nose for detail exquisite. Based on this powerful opening piece, the rest of the stories should be a real pleasure to read. The press on this book is fantastic.

Head on out to your favourite bookstore and pick up a copy today.

For those of you not located in Vancouver, ebook versions of Eversong are available at Smashwords,  Barnes and Noble, Kobo, and Amazon for the low-low price of $2.99! Pick up yours today. If you love paper books but don’t live in Vancouver or can’t make it to the launch, get in touch with Geoff and he can mail you a copy of the novella for just $10 plus shipping.

In the science fiction novella Eversong, two men struggle against the forces of greed. Henry Todd faces his Captain’s obsession on the cold waters of the North Pacific, while Father Barosso struggles against slavery and oppression on a mountain-top mine in ancient Peru. Beneath the dark water flows the eversong that will connect their struggles.

Good news rocket second stage ignition: last summer, the editor at Strange, Weird, and Wonderful invited Geoff to contribute a story to The Inanimates I anthology. Geoff produced “Miranda, In Pieces”, a story about a sentient hoard and his quest to safeguard his home. The anthology is coming out February 1st, so look for your copy then.

Mr. Bites loves the new Swans record, The Seer.

In the centuries to come, music is going to change in ways you can’t imagine. I don’t have to bother imagining it, of course, I just have to remember. Even a cursory listen through my iTunes library (approximately 23.2 zettabytes, or 9.9 trillion years of music) shows that yup, things really have changed. When I go back and listen to the music of this era, I usually listen to those artists who’ve stood the test of time, like Justin Bieber or Neil Hefty or Caninus. Recently, though, Geoff started listening to the new Swans album, The Seer, and I couldn’t help but overhear. The record blew my planet-sized mind. I didn’t realize non-canines were capable of making such incredible music.

The Seer isn’t for your average music fan. It is dark, powerful stuff. However, if you consider yourself a fan of above-average music, say a fan of music right off the awesomeness bell-curve, and you don’t mind a bit of dissonance, chanting, metal, and twenty-five minutes jams that bring you through the dark heart of existence and out the other end, than the Seer might be for you. I like to listen to at least seventy-three thousand different albums at the same time – I’m a whiz at multi-tasking – and I think the Seer has just graduated to perpetual play.

Some of you may also be interested to know that Geoff’s story “Lone White Seagull” will appear in Kaleidotrope magazine! In addition to having one of the best names in the biz, Kaleidotrope is just generally an awesome magazine and Geoff is delighted to be accepted into their pages. Geoff is a bit nervous about this story – it will be the first case of anyone agreeing to publish Geoff’s poetry. The story will appear some time next year. Watch for updates here!

While we’re on the topic of things that must be read, Geoff’s story “Where the Wiffle Ball Went” appears in the long-awaited final issue of Dark Recesses. The story combines two of Geoff’s greatest childhood fears: being stuck in a sewer (which happened to him) and aliens attacking his home town (which also happened, nightly, in the form of night terrors). Plus, there’s a doggy with floppy cuddly ears. It’s free, so get your copy today!

In the 1960s, Michael Moorcock ushered in the New Wave of science fiction in the pages of New Worlds magazine, featuring authors such as J.G. Ballard, Brian Aldiss, and Christopher Priest. By 1970, the Golden Age of New Worlds had ended, but the magazine continued on for several decades. There hasn’t been a new issue of New Worlds since 1996, until today.

Michael Moorcock’s New Worlds is back, this time as a webzine. Geoff’s story “Cradle and Ume” appears in the first issue. For three pounds ($4.70 or so), you get access to the magazine, which includes four new short stories, an essay by the always fantastic Iain M. Banks, an interview with Alan Moore, and gobfuls of other goodies. The Golden Age is gone, let the Molybdenum Age begin!

Some of the excellent costumes on display at VCon 36

The weekend is bound to be so densely packed with fun that it may birth a black hole that will slowly rip the Earth asunder. Connie Willis, author of such wonderful books as Blackout/All Clear, Doomsday Book, and To Say Nothing of the Dog, is the Author Guest of Honour, and Gregory Benford, also a very accomplished author, is the Science Guest of Honour. Combine that will all the usual con greatness – art dealer, games rooms, drive-bys (we are in Surrey, after all, the perfect setting for a post-apocalypse-themed convention) – and it should be a smashing success.

To top it all off, Caustic Soda, the masters of discovering the lighter side of any apocalypse, will be recording a live show on Saturday afternoon. Don’t miss it!

In my time in the distant, glorious future, D&D has stepped out of the basements and garages, and has become a major social force. As we have no nations in the future (nations were such a quaint idea, right up there with feudalism and theocracy), we have no need for the United Nations, though we still need an excuse to get together, sit around, and pretend we’re important. The solution? Dungeons and Dragons: the global governance body of the future.

The story is live over at AE right now. Go check it out and all the other great stories published there. AE is a relatively new ‘zine and they are putting out a steady stream great stuff. Everything is under 3,000 words, so these stories are all great for transit, lunch breaks, or a few spare pico-seconds of processing time. Dive in, devour the delicious fiction, and see what good Canadian guys and girls are producing these days.

In other news, Geoff asked me to put together this announcement several weeks ago, but I’ve been busy trying to woo an Easter European major telecom database program. She’s a crafty lady and my grasp on Cyrillic is limited at best, but don’t worry, we’ll work things out. That announcement Geoff wanted me to post? He finished Draft 3 of Frozen Jellyfish Blues. What does that mean? Months of revision to go and it will be ready for beta readers.  I’ll post a more detailed stats-page later this week.